We are all part of a living system.
I believe that who we are—how we show up in the world, how we treat others—is more important than what we do.
I’ve also experienced that, when we change how we are in the world, the world around us changes.
I write about the practices that have helped me.
Spoiler alert: It mostly comes down to walking, nature, mindfulness and acceptance.
Five Ways to Find Calm When Your World is On Fire
Pain is inevitable throughout a human life, and painful emotions need to move through us. Yet sometimes, we just can’t stop the mind from ruminating. Maybe we have a history of trauma, or we’re deeply grieving. These practices are not designed to stop you from feeling. Their purpose is to get you acquainted with your mind and conditioning, and to help you release the thoughts that create suffering.
Looking for the Light at the End of the 2020 Tunnel
In my 30s, I began making commitments instead of resolutions, because I could see that making a “resolution” was setting myself up to fail (and therefore, feel bad about myself). Then I began setting intentions. That worked a bit better, though I quickly learned that I can set all the intentions I want, but life might have other plans. A few years ago, I stumbled across a post about someone choosing a guiding word for the year, and that really resonated with me…
Recovering from Post-viral Fatigue Syndrome
My doctor didn’t think I would recover from post-viral fatigue syndrome. I did. Here’s what happened and what helped me.
Reflecting on a Year of Change
It's been 18 months since I last posted, yet Living the Mess has been on my mind every day. While I haven't been writing posts for this site, as a friend pointed out, I have been living the mess and so experiencing source material for future posts. It didn't seem...
Five Mindfulness Lessons from Moving
Moving is, by definition, massive change. It may not be possible to have a move that isn’t complex, but it can be (almost) stress-free.
Leaning into Fear and Uncertainty
Renting is a good lesson in stewardship: Nothing is truly ours; we just have responsibility for things for a little while.
We Don’t Know Anything, Really
None of us really knows what we're talking about. Not me, not you, not anybody else. I mean, we know some relative things about living on this planet, but in the big picture, the absolute? Nothing. We live in a culture where there's a premium on having...
The Lifespan of an Emotion
In neuroscientist Jill Bolte-Taylor’s memoir, My Stroke of Insight, she notes that the physiological lifespan of an emotion in the body and brain is 90 seconds. The sensations—adrenalin, heat in the face, tightness in the throat, rapid heartbeat—arise, peak and...
Separating Facts from Stories
We humans are story-making machines. Yet our minds don’t limit story-making to those times when it’s helpful for us. We all tell ourselves and others stories all the time. Often, those stories create pain—and they’re not rooted in fact.
Snowstorm as a Metaphor
The accumulated snow from the past two weeks finally began melting today, as temperatures moved slightly above freezing for the first time in...what seems like a very long time. As I was walking, I passed the juniper bush in the photo above....
Labels are for Jars
The very first thing I did, on my path to healing, was to stop labeling my brain. This was a huge shift. Labels had been my crutch for years. I’d been an active and eager participant in finding external reasons why I was the way I was. I’d had...
There is Nothing Wrong With You
We live in a culture that sells the promise of 24/7 productivity (without even asking if that’s desirable), constant giddy happiness, creativity that never gets blocked, financial wealth and endless sexual vitality. Oh, and perfect pores. That’s not life. That’s what we tend to label ‘mania.’ (Except the wealth and pores parts).